How Infatuation Turns Nice Guys into Easy Prey
Hidden, thanks for sharing with all the details. I know that took effort to write, and it’s hard looking back at such a bad time when all you want to do is forget about it and move on.
I’m finding myself in a similar situation. The girl was hitting on me very, very hard—yet I turned her down (haha!). But I admit, I was very, very flattered. What bigger boost is there to the ego than a chick hitting on you hard?
We’ve been playing lots of phone tag. I’ve noticed that infatuation has crept up on me.
Most guys on this forum are (or were) nice guys. Spot infatuation as soon as it begins. It is important to see infatuation before you mistake it for “love.” This is what makes puppies out of nice guys.
I’m willing to walk away at the drop of a hat. I know she’s not worth it. But I’ll play along for now, let the clock tick, and see what happens. Women seem to be very patient, and letting the clock tick is one of the best things I’ve found so far.
Anti-Dump is semi-right that a woman will not find it interesting if she initiates the date, meeting, etc. But the woman wouldn’t initiate it if she didn’t want it.
That brings us to a contradiction. After all, wouldn’t we find it boring to initiate a date or meeting? Of course, this isn’t true. So if men do not get bored with initiating, why would a woman? I think Anti-Dump has missed something here.
Women use sex to get relationships; men use relationships to get sex. That is how the sexes are wired. The latter demands reproduction; the former demands nurturing. Both are essential to the continuance of the species.
If you were to find out that the woman you were dating was a slut and easy, you would quickly stop dating her (unless you planned to “use” her, but that’s a whole different story).
Now let’s say you are female. You find out that the guy you were dating is easy emotionally and becomes instantly infatuated with you (i.e., NICE GUY). You would quickly stop dating him (unless you planned to “use” him and milk him of his money, etc., but that’s also a whole different story).
Just because a woman initiates the contact doesn’t mean it’s uninteresting to her—hell, she wants it to happen, or else why go through the trouble? What’s important to remember is that we guys would take that initiation of contact and turn it into infatuation:
“Whoa! She’s asking me out! Man, I’m killer stuff! She must really like me!”
The reaction is that we guys become flattered and very easy emotionally for them. The point is not that the initiation by the woman makes the man uninteresting, but that the man surrenders emotionally to the woman who initiates it.
Any thoughts on this?
Written by Pook at SoSuave forum
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