Sexuality Without Desperation — Why the Order Matters
I replied to this a long time ago, and it used to be in the archive. I guess, now that it isn’t, the question comes up again.
Quote: Originally posted by DjDreamer The guy that wrote “embrace your sexuality” is the same guy that wrote “kill that desperation.” The author is Pook. His excellent rhetoric provides camouflage for his contradiction.
It’s not possible to be horny and not needy at the same time (unless, of course, you’re a “think about sex and have no sex”-sexual).
Some people ask, “Why does Pook hammer the same points again and again?” Just read the above. There is no contradiction. Keep in mind also that the time between those two posts was years. I’m a bit wiser now, but the same principle applies.
Look at it like this: Years ago, when I first came to this forum, I was a Nice Guy. How was I going to get the women? One thing I said back then was KINOING. I said it because it worked. I said, “Kinoing turns you into a sexual being to her. If you do NOT kino her, she will see you sexually as a mannequin.” Why? Because mannequins do not start kino.
Years later… I do not kino a chick, certainly not on dates at first. “Contradiction! Pook is contradicted!”
What you’re forgetting is that after years, I am no longer that old Nice Guy.
The Nice Guy comes across to the woman as boring and sexually a zero. Nice Guys also seem safe. So when I started kinoing and stuff, I got an instant reaction from her. Suddenly, I was a sexual being!
One difference from those old Nice Guy days is that I’ve gained 30+ pounds of muscle mass, dress better, talk better, am more confident, etc. I am already a sexual being. If I start kinoing a girl now, I will be seen as coming on too strong and too desperate.
This is why I now agree with Anti-Dump in that archived thread. I’m not for or against kino. I also wouldn’t recommend Nice Guys act like how I am now.
So now I disregard talking about kino or “how you say things” and just talk about sexuality. I’m already a sexual being now; there is no need for me to kino a girl. She will know I’m a sexual being already. I do not need to touch her.
But the Nice Guy needs to embrace his sexuality. He is a sexual dud. You need to look, act, and think like a guy.
If I put up a “Sexuality” scale, some guys would be at low sexuality (Nice Guys) while some guys would be at the higher end. I honestly can’t say the specifics of how one should act or what to say to a girl because everyone is at different points on this scale. For the Nice Guy, kinoing goes a long way. But for me now, it is overkill.
The “DESIRELESS” is to be not needy. You want her but do not need her. It is a big difference.
Desperate guys need a girl to “complete themselves,” to “make themselves feel happy.” I say these guys have it backward. They ought to complete themselves and make themselves happy, then go for the chicks.
Live. Laugh. Love. Notice the order? Get your life together, make yourself happy, then go for the chicks.
(Some people complain it is work. Well, what’s the point of having a girlfriend or a fleet of women if you have no direction in life and are chronically melancholy? Defeats the purpose. Women are to enhance your life. Fools think women will define their life.)
I think 90% of all the problems on this board are because they mix up the order.
Written by Pook at SoSuave forum
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