Why Failure With Women Is Your Fastest Path to Success
The reason why you are here at this website, improving in ways you never dreamed possible before in your life, is because you failed at achieving what you wanted with women.
Listen to yourself before you came to this website:
âOh, how I have failed with the ladies! If only I knew what to do! If only I knew the secrets of attraction, love, and women!â
And so here you are, gobbling up more information than ever. And this is good. But...
Do you allow yourself to fail? Or do you search for posts on EXACTLY how you should act on a date? Do you try to push your comfort zones, or do you read the pages of seduction material for the 435,473rd time?
Failure is a necessary component of growth. Let yourself fail.
Not all the time. You are not the Nice Guy who crashes and burns without a clue (and does it again and again and again). Don Juans are made by failing, not by succeeding.
When you fail, you gain information about things that can be worked on. Are you too scrawny? Do you not have fun dates? Is your personality the problem? Do you let yourself have fun? Are you scared of sex? What is it?
A failure can help you more than reading every damn post on this board. Failure will aid you much more than the whole of the DJ Bible.
Becoming a Don Juan is not like flipping a light switch. You do not stuff this information in your head and become a drone of the ideas here. You need to fail. You MUST fail. You will always learn more from failing because it wonât be hypothetical! You wonât be having fantasies of being a blazing Don Juan, going from girl to girl. No, you will be OUT THERE (which is where you learn everything), and you WILL FAIL. This failure points out where you NEED to improve.
âBut Pook! If I fail, I will lose the girl!â
For every love that dies, a new one is born. It is a law of Nature!
Keep the focus on YOU. So what if you lose the girl? Another girl will quickly take her place. If you WAIT on the first girl, you will be worse off when you meet that second girl. FAIL NOW.
âBut Pook! I remember the pain before. I am learning this information so I will not enter that pain again.â
Let me tell you what is MORE PAINFUL: getting trapped in a torturous cycle of devouring more and more information with no action. In this case, the Nice Guy is more admirable than you because at least the Nice Guy allows himself to fail. You never let yourself fail, so you will never grow.
âBut Pook! Isnât the point of the information to AVOID failure?â
This is the number one common mistake that keeps long-time regulars here stuck in their cycle. They think the information will remove failure. That is not the point. Just as in order for your muscles to grow you must let them fail (and then fill in the void with protein, sleep, etc.), so too, in order to GROWânot in your mental self, but in your real self OUT THEREâyou must let yourself fail (and if you do fail, fill in the void with the information and feedback here).
âBut Pook! Why should I intend to fail?â
The point is not to INTEND to fail. It is to LET yourself fail. If you fail with a girl, IT IS AN OPPORTUNITY YOU MISSED ABOUT YOURSELF.
Let us repeat it again:
FAILURE IS AN OPPORTUNITY. After all, risk is the key to self-improvement.
The number two common mistake here is thinking you ARE NOT ALLOWED to fail because of all this âinformationâ youâve soaked up. In other words, if you fail, you think you arenât a Don Juan.
Let me tell you something: Don Juans are not made on message boards. They are made OUT THERE. Whatever happens to you out there, no matter how bad it is, come back here and we will help you. You are beyond your Nice Guy days.
But flaws can only be removed by confronting themânever by masking them.
âBut Pook! I did what you said and... I had great success! I was hoping I would fail so I could improve, but dammit, I succeeded beyond my wildest expectations! I was looking forward to failing so I could improve, but the hot chick accepted my advances and dates! How could she do that!?â
Now you see the point of it all. Even though there are TONS of posts that say ânot to fear rejectionâ or âthat she is missing out on you,â you still fear failing. Failure is actually a GOOD thing since it helps you grow. It is good to IMAGINE success, but do not FEAR failure. Embrace it like the gift it is, since it allows you to grow. (For if you donât fail now, you will fail later on. Get it over with.)
It is a win-win situation.
SO GO OUT THERE AND LET YOURSELF FAIL!
How I came to this site was because I FAILED badly with the woman I wanted. Looking back through my Pook years, I see that the times I failed were when I got my head snapped on straight and truly changed.
Turning a âfailureâ with a woman into a âlearning experience,â just one bump along the long road of success, sounds good in seminars. But youâve got to risk. Youâve got to roll your dice.
Nice Guys are nice because they donât want to fail. Why else do Nice Guys listen to womanly advice?
Why else do Nice Guys give chocolate, flowers, poetry, etc. to the woman? They certainly donât do it out of a spirit of love (though many do, these infatuated chumps). Many do it because they think it is âthe routineâ and they donât want to fail. They want to âplay it safe.â
âMay I kiss you?â the Nice Guy asks. He doesnât want to make her âuncomfortable.â If this Nice Guy risked failing, he would just kiss her and go for it. He could be slapped OR she could say, âTHANK GOD! I THOUGHT HE WAS GAY!â and all is good.
Some here still act like those Nice Guys, with the only difference being that they listen to men instead. Youâve GOT to sprinkle risk into your life.
As Anti-Dump said, you DO want to protect your heart. But some are so scared of failing that they literally COCOON their life!
To the lonersâYou know who you are. You donât think you are good enough, have the right things, do the right things, etc., to let a woman into your life. But you do! You loners aim at your comfortable world but do so at the cost of long-term happiness. LET A WOMAN INTO YOUR LIFE! Youâll probably enrich her life more than you think, and she will definitely enrich yours!
To the shy guysâYou know who you are. You are worried about what others might say, what she might think, what everyone might say. But the truth is, you could walk in front of a bus and be forgotten in a day. No one is going to care that you lusted after a chick. Even chicks forget. GO FOR IT! YIELD TO YOUR DESIRE FOR ONCE!
To the addicted-to-SoSuave crowdâYou know who you are. You read more and more and more and more and more information. Yet, there you sit in front of your computer. The information you see... it is a novelty, something new for you to think about. But once you go out and FAIL with the ladies, all the information literally changes. Rather than being a novelty to think about, like some new philosophy to adopt, it becomes an addendum to your battle plan. You exit the world of THEORY and go OUT THERE (since that is where the chicks are. Only feminists reside in the world of THEORYâand you donât want those anyway).
Everyone came to this site with problems. This site corrected many of them. Alas, the site also created a few new problems. One of them is that guys are scared to fail, especially with all this information around. They think that with this information they wonât fail. It is fun to failâit is the zeal of life. Let yourself fail!
Also, failure is the only way to trigger metamorphosis.
Quote: You can keep on trying to do something, and although you may not make it the first few times, you have âfailedâ only when you hit the dirt and refuse to get back up and try again.
Only by failing can you succeed.
Don Juaning is like a dance. You can learn all the steps. But unless you go out and trip yourself (or step on her, haha) a couple of times, you will never EVER dance.
Some guys are so scared of failing that they memorize how they should act, whereas others have only one thought going through their head: âWHEEEEEEEEEEE!â
Some men see women and cry, âWHY!?â But I approach women and say, âWHY NOT?â
Written by Pook at SoSuave forum
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